The sound plays through my head
the sound I always seem to dread
the soft sound of her little voice
the sound of his sweet rejoice
every second with them I miss
every laugh, every hug, every little kiss
their smiling faces play over endlessly
but then there's something I begin to see
the screams, the tears, the pain in their fragile hearts
their confusion in this world that has torn us apart
the fear, the hate, the terror running wild
I think to myself "how could they do this to a child"            

-"Kerri"  15 year old in involuntary state custody February 2006

---

I've been struggling since birth, could it get any worse
with constant thoughts of my existence on this earth as a curse

I have no parents, no family, no friends, no home lost and alone
with just the clothes on my back to call my own

Being tossed from one place to the next like trash
wanting desperately to flee but to young for the dash

No one to talk to and no one who's willing to listen
no one to look inside of my heart to see what is missing

So I'm left with just painful memories and constant loathing
I put my trust into a person who was a wolf in sheep's clothing

Spent my young life in the custody of others until I aged-out
An adult now, looking for a way to get this rage out

So I stumbled across a site that was a pleasure to see
because in this place resides people who are just
like me

I released a lot of pain to friends who could relate
A burden was lifted from my shoulders and it truly felt great

So as I look back and reflect on times when I was alone
I now rejoice with this new family of mine that welcomed me home!

by Daner N. Dawson
Former Foster Child
Poetry.com

---

Ryan's Poem

You learned how to walk, and tie your shoe

Such a happy baby, with everything to do

You would  always ask me

"Mom will you marry me too?"

Yes Ryan I would say

and you would continue to happily play.

 

Not a care in the world, my little baby Ry

I was your world, and you were mine.

Along came Sissy, what a big surprize

Now it was time to share me, you didn't like it, I saw it in your eyes

 

The years passed fast, now your a young man,

Can you ever forgive me,I pray that you can

I see my mistakes, more time I should have spent.

I did and said things, that I never meant

 

Oldest child, Youngest child, Middle child

As the middle, you're so meek and mild

 

 You needed more of my attention, your cry is heard

The past is now nothing more than a blur

I'm sorry for not really being there,

I know it probably feels like I didn't really care

 

That's the furthest from the truth,

Lets deal with things now,

while your still in your youth.

 

I miss you and I love you so very much

I'm sorry that I wasn't such a good mom in the past

Ive worked on a lot, and taken off my mask

No more drugs for me, they've taken too much

 

I'm still not perfect, and never will be,

but things will be better, just wait and see

All I can do, is be a living example,

whatever has happened, my willingness is not dampered.

 

So I will always be here for you, whenever you need

I miss you so much and will until your home,

My love for you is always here, from my heart it never leaves

Your still my baby, even though now your a young man,

I promise you now, I"ll be the best mom I can!
                    --anonymous mother, October 2006

---

"Karens poem"

 
I sit here in your room alone,

in our rocking chair

wishing you were home

or wishing I was there

 

I remember your precious love

as I breathe a little prayer

I send it to God above
Baby, our bond is strong,I know it's still there

 

I know that he hears me

cause I see it in your eyes

You'll be home soon,you see

My Baby please don't cry

 

We need to stay strong

We've made it this far

The roads been too long

Now it's "no holds barred"

 

"I love you with all my little pink heart"

Never ever forget

They will never ever keep our family apart

"I love you with all my little pink heart!"
                   
                            (Anonymous mother, September 30, 2006)

Honesty

No one
Not even the oak tree
Has hands
As honest as yours
 
             -anonymous

Ode to Judge Welch

She was the mother
Her baby ripped from the breast
Milk runs dry

   No words
      No ink

Even the tears she cries
Resist like a dry heave

Still stunned, she stumbles, numb, through her new home:
The Emotional Wasteland for Undone Mothers.

Groping for the courage to rescue her stolen child
Every protective instinct inside her at once heightened and squelched
Her trauma-soaked brain takes her back to this morning
Was it really a judge who gave her baby away to strangers?

Oh see the joy she takes
In the justice that she fakes

Finally, she picks herself up to confront her new reality
Finding every right she believed we all have
Become now in just one instant another Great American Myth.

The state has stolen her child, her soul, her sanity:
”You’re not good enough to be a mother”
 But
”Thank you for breeding.”

”Yes, your honor, the baby is very cute, very adoptable”.
The court whores plead their "best interest" charade

Oh the pleasure Welch enjoys
Watching families she destroys

Slowly, she rises up from her grief
Makes a vow to her child
I will never stop fighting for you
I will find you
I will not accept this role
I am not a breeder for the State of Oregon.
I will find you

I am mother.

Susan Detlefsen, January 2006


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